So...I'm alive, people!

Hey. A lot has happened these past few months, and as such I have a lot on my mind. As some of you may know, I am now living at a ranch in South Dakota called Heartland. I love it there, even though I miss my other home, and the people in it. They work us interns hard there, but its all worth it. Farrah (the instructor) is absolutely amazing with her work with horses, and I am so proud to be an intern there. Chase and I have made a lot of progress-we've filmed our level 2 online, and are finally getting into the stuff of dreams-level 3. He's...almost completely changed. Rather than working against me to thwart me and test my leadership constantly-he's so in tune to what I ask. We've grown closer than we've ever been-I'm so proud of him. He's also gone through a couple of growth spurts, and we've started to play with the idea of riding. Here's a photo



He was such a star-and Farrah helped every step of the way. I was the one that freaked out when he started moving and bailed the first time. The second time, I realized he didn't even care I was on his back-Lol. And it means so much to me that every time I get up on the pedestal he sidesteps over to me and offers his back without me asking..it just means that this isn't only my idea.
I also have a new cat-its not official yet, but I'm hoping to officially adopt her-I <3 her to bits. It's just so nice cuddling up to her during the night, and having a creature that wants to snuggle with you everytime you walk into the room LOL. Sorry guys-no photos of her yet. Hopefully tomorrow I'll go get my camera fixed, and that'll change.
Anyways, for now I'm in my home in Minnesota. Been here for a couple of weeks for thanksgiving. It started out as an emergency call for my asthma-it was bugging me pretty bad for a couple of weeks, and I decided I had had enough and wanted to go to the doctor. Since then it hasn't really bugged me that much, and I'm eager to get back to heartland.
Silver Chief worried me before I went home though-he developed a case of gas colic right before I left. He seemed fine after I walked him a while, though. Umm...I've become obsessed with a new anime-Kiba. It's really good. lol.
....Mom's pretty sick. She can't really stay awake for very long anymore-she coughs during the night so she can't sleep then, and is exhausted during the day. She can't stay up very much either-housework is getting harder for her to do. Just walking up the steps now leaves her wheezing and trying desperately to catch her breath. Damn whomever invented cigarettes. Which by the way, she's still smoking. STILL. *sigh* I guess I'll never understand it. It's been explained to me several times-that the craving is something so powerful they can't resist it. But to me-what craving could be worth giving up your life for? She's been really nice to me too-consistantly. Overly so. Which worries me even more. She was too sick to go to the thanksgiving dinner with us-we had to bring the food home for her while she stayed on the couch and slept and watched TV. I'm starting to wonder what things will be like after she's gone. I try not to let it depress me too much, but I also realize I'll probably come home for good after and have to probably be the backbone. Heidi and aly are too young to really get through it easily without help, and dad's been married to her for longer than I've been alive. Mom is the backbone of the family-she takes care of us all. I guess that's what I'll have to become when the time's right.
My dreams have also kinda been warped. I want to become a parelli instructor and get a farm-but for different reasons now. I want to have a place for my little sisters and dad to be happy-mayb even happier than they are now. Maybe get heidi and aly horses of their own and teach them how to ride and handle horses, you know? I think it would be fun. Especially for Aly-she wants to learn to be with horses too. Its even more pressure now to become a parelli instructor-one that'll make a decent wage, you know? Even if the farm is small, we can still be happy there. Have a big pasture and a barn for the horses. A bigger house than the one we have, that's for sure. Lol.
I have to succeed. I have to. ...
Lol. I guess that's all I can think of writing now. See ya later.